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Why do I feel this pressure to have life and spirituality figured out right now?
I feel crushed by this pressure...not strengthened.
Maybe one day I'll look back, and it will all make sense.
Sorry that I'm being kind of cryptic.
But I feel cryptic right now. Not super logical.
That's all.
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| what the heck...i won't give up on posting. :)
i feel like my heart is so full of hope tonight.
hope for a bright future that involves challenge, learning, change.
hope that there is Good in the midst of a lot of bad that i see (in me and in the world).
hope in family and friendships - that these relationships are worth more than gold and fame.
hope that Truth is more than i've believed it/Him to be...and that my mind/heart/soul hasn't really grasped it/Him yet.
i guess you can just say that i'm excited for LIFE.
[here are some pictures of the annual cherry blossom festival in washington dc]
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| After spring break, the labor/delivery and postpartum rotation of clinicals started up, and with all the excitement that I felt, I also felt really nervous and lacking in confidence. Confession: I often lack confidence and have fear that I will fail, but I'm learning to be mindful of the presence of God in the midst of everyday life.
Anyway, today I saw my first birth, and I can't even begin to explain how impacted I am by this experience. The couple was incredibly gracious to let me be a part of this monumental occasion. Anticipation and excitement filled the room. And when the time came for the baby made its grand entrance, I became so emotional that I had to hold back my tears. Let me tell you, labor is pretty gross; but after all the pain, pushing, blood, amniotic fluid, and a distorted vagina...a beautiful beautiful child gets a chance at life.
This whole process of life being formed has captivated me all over again. From conception to death, we are truly wonderfully made. There's no denying that.
Ok...so, I love old people and I love birth (so far).
Hmmm...the future is bright. :)
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| ok, now for some pictures.
welcome to the geriatric interest group.
we love old people.
these pictures were taken at "apostolic towers," a retirement apartment building down the street from school; we had an intergenerational senior prom. :) i think i was smiling the WHOLE night!!!
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I watched the lunar eclipse last night. I could see it from my window, so I would peer out from time to time to see the moon's progression to a beautiful blackish red. As I watched it, I had this surreal moment of realization that I (we) am (are) so strangely connected to this universe. Now, that kind of sounds "new age", but I can't explain away those feelings I was having.
It was a moment when I truly felt insignificant in light of the enormous universe that we think we understand, yet at the same time I am LOVED, CHERISHED, and ACCEPTED by an even bigger God. That He is pleased with me, simply because I am His child...because of what Jesus has done.
"I in them, and You in Me.
That they may be perfected in unity."
God is more connected with us than we dare to realize.
What a glorious and revolutionary thought. :)
[No pictures this time. I've been a slacker.]
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